MY MOM!
by Jack797
Summary: One day, Mordecai, Rigby, Hi-Five Ghost and Muscle Man are all cleaning the garage at the house, when suddenly Muscle Man becomes more annoying than ever. Hope you all enjoy my first fanfiction uploaded to this website! This is only the first of many! w


_Hey, guys! Jack797 here, and I figured I'd finally post a fanfiction with my account here. If the name didn't make it obvious (and let's be real here, there's no way it isn't obvious), this is a fanfiction where things become a problem because of Muscle Man's "My Mom!" jokes. I'm sure there are hundreds of story ideas people can come up with using that premise alone, but I thought of one back in high school I thought was really good. Unfortunately, the friend's website where I posted it disappeared from the internet so I have to start again from scratch. Oh, well! I've got a couple more ideas with this one anyway!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Regular Show. It is owned by J. G. Quintel. I also own none of the characters in this story. I am only writing this as a fan of Regular Show. It was my second favorite Cartoon Network show so I definitely think it deserves to be the first show I write a story about! I hope you all enjoy!**

**Rating: T mostly due to a couple of Muscle Man's "My Mom" jokes being pretty messed-up. I apologize for them, I'll add**

* * *

Our story begins at the house, with Mordecai and Rigby cleaning the garage with Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost. Things were going the way they usually do at first. Unfortunately, they all took a turn for the worse after Mordecai moved a bookshelf which revealed dog poop, spider webs, mud and piss smeared all over the walls behind the bookshelf and SpongeBob season 7, Allen Gregory season 1, and all of Ren and Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon on DVD laying in front of it all.

"Ugh, this is _sick!"_ Mordecai said.

"You know who _else _is sick?" Muscle Man suddenly said. "MY MOM!"

"No, seriously, Muscle Man, this stuff belongs in the trash," Rigby said.

"You know who _else _belongs in the trash?" Muscle Man replied. "MY MOM!"

"Okay, we get it at this point, Muscle Man," replied Hi-Five Ghost who was actually not in the mood for Muscle Man's My Mom jokes for the first time in his life, mainly due to the fact that he didn't want to have to be a part of cleaning all this up. "Your mom was an unlikeable prostitute. Fine. Can we _please_ focus on cleaning this up and tell jokes later?"

"You know who _else _is rolls around on the floor naked, screaming, '_Vacation! Vacation!'_?" Muscle Man said.

"Uh… no one set up that one, Muscle Man…" Mordecai said.

"You know who _else_ is afraid of the Hat of Discipline?" Muscle Man said.

"Knock it off, Muscle Man!" Hi-Five Ghost yelled.

"You know who _else _is into what Ian Watkins got arrested for?" Muscle Man said.

"**DUDE!**" Rigby screamed, never in a million years expecting to hear those words come from Muscle Man's mouth.

"You know who _else _was in a 90's sitcom that got far past the point of seasonal rot in the second season?" Muscle Man asked.

"**AGH!**" the three others screamed.

"Screw this!" Rigby yelled angrily. "I'm going inside and watching Dragonball Z on TV!"

Rigby entered the house with Mordecai and Hi-Five Ghost, all three of them making sure to lock the door so Muscle Man can't enter the house. They then turned on the TV to Nappa saying: "Vegeta, what does the Scouter say about his Power Level?"

"You know who _else _is gonna suddenly change what's on the TV from Dragonball Z to Boku no Pico after making this comment?" Vegeta said in Muscle Man's voice before the channel changed suddenly. Mordecai, Rigby and Hi-Five Ghost just stared at the TV with their jaws dropped wide, not sure what was more horrifying: What just happened, or what was on the screen _now!_

That night, Pops was laying in bed when he heard a scary noise, almost like wind blowing outside, but with a more malevolent feel to it. "_Bad show… Very bad show…" _Pops commented, very afraid.

Suddenly, the Flying Dutchman slammed open the door, making Pops scream.

"_EUGENE KRABS, I HAVE FINALLY COME FOR YOU!_" the Flying Dutchman yelled.

"Eugene? No, I'm Pops…" Pops said.

"Oh, my bad," the Flying Dutchman said. "I guess Death and I got our addresses mixed up, meaning he'll be coming here in about a week."

"Wait, what?" Pops said.

The Flying Dutchman then turned around left the room. "Goodbye, Pops."

Pops then looked down, depressed. "I guess a week of no wetting the bed wasn't enough to never wet it again…" he said.

"You know who _else _just wet the bed?" Muscle Man said, standing at the door suddenly.

"**AAAAGGGGHHHH!**" Pops screamed.

The next morning, Thomas dropped by to say hi. "Hey, Muscle Man. How've you-?"

"You know who _else _was a character so hated by the fanbase that the writers made a copout move to get rid of him by revealing he was a Russian spy named Nikolai?" Muscle Man suddenly interrupted.

"Well, that does it…" Thomas said. "Russia and America are now mortal enemies. HEY, TRUMP! GOOD LUCK WINNING THE NEXT ELECTION WITHOUT HELP FROM RUSSIA!" Thomas began heading back to his country to tell Putin it's time for a war to begin.

That night, Benson showed up at the house when Muscle Man was about to leave.

"Alright, Muscle Man, it's time for you to get paid," Benson said.

"You know who _else _gets paid, but for a _different _kind of work?" Muscle Man said just before winking.

"If you say your mom, you're fired," Benson said.

"MY MOM!" Muscle Man yelled.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Benson screamed.

"IT WAS WORTH IT!" Muscle Man yelled before leaving. Skips then entered through the back door.

"I've been doing research on Muscle Man's behavior, Benson…" Skips said. "Turns out, it was nothing supernatural. He's just annoying in this fanfiction."

The next thing the characters all heard from outside the door was: "Hey, Creepy Old Dude. You know who _else _is a character in this story without actually appearing or even getting a speaking role?" everything suddenly went quiet. That joke probably would've actually been the only funny one if it had an end due to it having the most truth to it throughout this story, but the phrase _My Mom _wasn't heard. Instead, the front door slowly opened revealing Muscle Man, with the largest organ of the human body (his skin) missing. He then flexed his muscles and said: "I told you I was _ripped!_" before falling down dead. The remaining cast in the house began to cheer loudly, but suddenly feet were heard walking down the steps. Muscle Man came downstairs wearing an orange parka.

"You know who _else _has to end a story with an obvious reference to Kenny from South Park?"

THE END


End file.
